|
St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide
Leg 3: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
It's lunchtime! You may not be hungry, but it's important to eat something, because like Sheriff Bart said in Blazing Saddles:" Man drink like that, and don't eat, he is going to die."
If you want to maintain your buzz and not get that hideous, bloated feeling that could slow down your drinking, there are only two options: popcorn or Pop Tarts. Both have the carbohydrates you'll need to give you energy, both will soak up excess bile in your stomach, and both have names that are hard to slur. If you start slurring your words too early, you'll hear the second most frightening phrase in the English language on St. Patrick's Day: "You're cut off". [The most firghtening phrase? As on all other days, it is simply "I'm pregnant," especially when followed by "It's definitely yours."]
By now, you should switch off of coffee drinks to beer. You have only one option here: Guinness stout. You may be tempted to order green beer, but remember: beer doesn't always turn green because of food coloring.
Use These Links to Continue Drinking
First Leg |
Second Leg |
Third Leg
Fourth Leg |
Fifth Leg
| 
