St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide
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St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide
St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide

St. Patrick's Day Drinking Survival Guide

Leg 4: 2 p.m. to 7 p.m.

By now, the bar is definitely crowded as people take long lunches and bail out of work early to tie one on. If you're doing your job correctly, the bar should look two to three times as crowded as it really is.

By now, you may be in conversation with some real Irish people, since the person you came with has likely been taken away by ambulance. Some conversational points to remember when talking to the Irish are: Football really means Soccer, and you should be more passionate about it than you are about your wife or husband, AND The English are all piss-arsed, pig-fucking bastards who should be lined up and kicked into the Liffey.

If you remember those two points, as well at least three derogatory names for Margaret Thatcher, you can talk to the Irish for hours. You should continue to drink Guinness throughout this leg, although you may want to have another Irish Coffee if your heartbeat has become irregular.


Use These Links to Continue Drinking

First Leg | Second Leg | Third Leg
Fourth Leg | Fifth Leg


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