Modern Day Noah's Ark
Simply Frogg Main Page Simply Frogg MySpace Codes Simply Frogg Jokes Page Simply Frogg Pictures Page
Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark
Modern Day Noah's Ark

Modern Day Noah's Ark

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. So I am ordering you to build an Ark."

And, in a flash of lightning, the Lord delivered the specifications for the Ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints. "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," warned the Lord. "You better have my Ark completed -- or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping. There was no Ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My Ark?"

A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark's construction, but your plans didn't meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system.

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I spent months trying to get a variance from the city planning board.

"After all that, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees, to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to *save* the owls, but they wouldn't listen. And they wouldn't let me catch any owls, either -- so no owls on the Ark.

"Then the carpenters' union started picketing my home because I wasn't using union carpenters. I had to halt construction and begin negotiating with the National Labor Relations Board.

"Next, I started gathering up the animals -- but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind. Just when that suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.

"Then the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe - and they went ballistic!

"The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax.

"Lord, I'm sorry, but I don't think there's any way I can finish the Ark in less than five years - if ever!"

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"Wrong!" thundered the Lord. "But I'm going to do it with something far worse than a mere flood. Something far more destructive. Something that man himself created."

"What's that?" Noah asked.

"Government!" said the Lord.

Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments

Simply Frogg Joke Pages Archives

If you need a good laugh, or want to become the life of the next party and need some new jokes to tell, 'cuz you don't know any, these pages have your name written all over them! You can't go wrong!

  • Jokes Page 40
  • Jokes Page 39
  • Jokes Page 38
  • Jokes Page 37
  • Jokes Page 36
  • Jokes Page 35
  • Jokes Page 34
  • Jokes Page 33
  • Jokes Page 32
  • Jokes Page 31
  • Jokes Page 30
  • Jokes Page 29
  • Jokes Page 28
  • Jokes Page 27
  • Jokes Page 26
  • Jokes Page 25
  • Jokes Page 24
  • Jokes Page 23
  • Jokes Page 22
  • Jokes Page 21
  • Jokes Page 20
  • Jokes Page 19
  • Jokes Page 18
  • Jokes Page 17
  • Jokes Page 16
  • Jokes Page 15
  • Jokes Page 14
  • Jokes Page 13
  • Jokes Page 12
  • Jokes Page 11
  • Jokes Page 10
  • Jokes Page 9
  • Jokes Page 8
  • Jokes Page 7
  • Jokes Page 6
  • Jokes Page 5
  • Jokes Page 4
  • Jokes Page 3
  • Jokes Page 2
  • Jokes Page 1
  • Frogg Jokes
  • main  |   jokes  |   pictures  |   myspace  |   archives
    water quality  |   finance  |   search  |   frogg wear  |   da' store


    Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark


      frogg sections:
  • da' main page
  • da' archives
  • myspace pics
  • da' history
  • da' jokes page
  • da' pictures
  • da' frogg gear
  • search da' site

      frogg features:

  • finance by frogg
  • myspace codes
  • music links
  • water quality

      links you'll like:

  • air/water filters
  • americas best
  • americas best II
  • best comments
  • da' joke blog
  • girls 4 myspace
  • more bacon
  • more sarcasm
  • patriotic pics
  • pool test kits
  • pool water tests
  • sarcastic pics
  • test for...
  • testing meters
  • water test strips
  • water test meter
  • water testing
  • quick water test
  • your water test

      frogg fashion:

  • frogg digs deep
  • frogg shirts
  • frogg wear
  • sarcastic for life
  • Modern Day Noah's Ark

    Water Testing Blog

    friends of frogg:

    Da' Frogg Store: It gets no simpler than Frogg in this life. Stop and smell the roses, gaze into the setting sun and show the world you mean business.

    Water Testing Blog: Find useful information on drinking water test kits, drinking water testing and drinking water treatment/purification options.

    Quick Water Test: Quick and easy way to find drinking water quality test kits and useful drinking water testing information.

    main page myspace comments Jokes Pictures
    Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark
    Modern Day Noah's Ark
    Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark
    Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark
    Modern Day Noah's Ark
    Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark Modern Day Noah's Ark