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Marines, Tampons & Gunshot Wounds
some things are a perfect fit!
Got this as part of an email and I post it because a friend who just finished an 8-year tour of duty as an Army Ranger showed me a field triage gunshot wound kit that he carried for his last tour overseas in Iraq or maybe it was Afghanistan. Although the kit contained all sorts of unique devices designed to stop bleeding, including something called Quick Clot, nothing seemed as though it could do the same thing as what you will now read:
My son told me how wonderful the care packages we had sent them were and wanted me to tell everyone thank you. He said that one guy we'll call Marine X, got a girl care package and everyone was giving him a hard time.
My son said, "Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him." I told my son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send Marine X another package. He told me not to worry about Marine X because every time I send something to him, Marine X thinks it's for him too.
He said when my husband and I sent the last care package Marine X came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it, and said, "What'd we get this time?"
My son said they had the most fun with Marine X's package.
He said he wasn't sure who we were sending the pack to, but the panties were size 20, and he said one of the guys got on top of the Humvee and jumped off with the panties over his head and yelled, "Look at me, I'm an Airborne Ranger!!!!".
One of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew in the wind like a windsock. He said it entertained them for quite awhile. Then of course, they had the tampons.
When he brought this up my imagination just went running, but he continued. My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted the ChapStick and lotion for the trip. He grabbed a bunch of the items from his care package and got in the Humvee. As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons too, and my son said everyone was teasing him
about "not forgetting his fe minine hygiene products".
He said things went well for a while, then the convoy was ambushed and a Marine was shot. He said the wound was pretty clean, but it was deep. He said they were administering first aid but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, "Hey use Marine X's tampons". My son said they put the tampon in the wound. At this point my son profoundly told me, "Mom did you know that tampons expand?" "Well, yeah!".
They successfully slowed the bleeding until the guy got better medical attention. When they went to check on him later the surgeon told them, "You guys saved his life". If you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would have bled to death. My son said, "Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by mistake saved a Marine's life." At this point I asked him, "Well what did you do with the rest of the tampons?" He said, "Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our flak jackets, and I kept two for our first aid kit".
I am absolutely amazed by the ingenuity of our Marines, and can't believe that something that started out as a mistake then turned into a joke, ended up saving someone's life.
OK, now that the serious portion of this bulletin has passed, please enjoy this picture of a drunk dude whose friends saw fit to shove a tampon in his mouth after he passed out. I mean, seriously... What're friends for, right?
Simply Frogg and Americas Best
free jokes, comments and graphics
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